My Mom-in-love

 “Mathe” Mama Taifa

Losing a lady who treated you as a son, yet in actual fact you were just another son-in-law isn’t something to be taken lightly.

Mathe, as I called you, it isn’t easy. You and I broke almost EVERY custom known to me.

We shared meals at your place in Khwisero on very many occasions. My ancestral people warned me about the things I did.

But with Christ in my heart, I defied their plea. I visited you several times, with friends and sometimes taking a pit stop to my destination. Your kinsmen couldn’t understand what I’m made of.

Some even said that they hadn’t seen another like me thanks to you for giving me the freedom to be free with you. 

Mathe, we had great moments and stories you shared. It’s amazing that during your low moments of illness Lilian and I opened the door in Buruburu for you to be comfortable.

“Des”, as you would refer to me or Baba Imani, it is painful to come to terms that I will never talk to you again. It is very sad that, I will not hear your humble voice again calling on me for errands. 

Thank you for the phone conversations we had to just check on me and how we were fairing on in life. The advice you gave me on how to do life with your daughter. 

Thank you Mathe, thank you for treating me as your son. You have a special place in my heart. A special compartment set only and only for you.

And as I said in your Memorial service, “that, all mothers-in-law & potential mothers-in-law should emulate your attitude toward a son-in-law.” Treat them with the utmost respect as if they were your very own.

Thank you Mathe, for I can’t remember even a single instance that you disrespected me. I may have not been a perfect husband to your first daughter, but you embraced me nevertheless.

Thank you Mathe for doing life with me. I had asked God to give you seven more years for us to enjoy your stay on earth. But, Him being sovereign saw it fit that you shouldn’t suffer anymore. 

Mathe, you were Ayots best friend. The day that she had gone to Metropolitan Hospital to pick medicine and she took way longer than expected, we were all anxious, but yours was at another level. 

“Des, hebu enda uangalie huyu Ayots yuko wapi?” You were worried that something terrible had happened. What you said once we came back struck me differently.

You said “Kama ungekuwa 'umeenda', hata mimi ninge wacha ku meza hizi dawa.” We all had a hearty laugh, but, according to me, that was pure love.

I’m typing these few words with a very heavy heart. Tears are freely flowing,  I seem not to have control of what is coming out of my nostrils. Maybe it’s the love and respect you showed me from day one I was to be part of your life. 16 years is a short time. 

Thank you for all the ceremonies we celebrated in Nairobi & Khwisero. You were an exceptional host. You always went beyond expectations. 

Thank you for the 16 years I was in your life as a potential son-in-law. Your son-in-law and as you stated Your son. Des, your son will try as much as it is possible with me to emulate your attitude towards life. 

Encouraging others yet you are the one suffering immensely. May God teach and give me the ability to encourage, even when in my lowest moments. 

Thank you Mama Dallas, Mama, Ayoti,  Mama Ruth, Mama Ambia, Mama Kenny Mama Kasty, Mama Achieng’ Mama Austin, Mama Fabish, Mama Alano,  & Mama Des.

Dance with the angels Mathe, until we meet again.